Eating Disorder Referral and Information Center
International Eating Disorder Referral Organization
Helping a loved one with an Eating Disorder
Do you know why you are reading this article? I do. You either have an eating disorder or you know someone who does. More than likely, if you are not concerned for yourself, it is a family member or a close friend that’s making you crazy.
Eating disorders affect everyone associated with the person afflicted. I receive at least 10 calls a week from friends and family members that are terribly confused. They don’t know how to help. They don’t know what questions to ask, or even if they had some idea, they don’t know how to ask. They are always afraid they are making things worse. They don’t know how to deal with the mood swings, the lying, sneaking behavior, the gain or lose of tremendous weight, the sound of vomiting in the bathroom, or the fear of finding that person dead at any given moment. They are tired of being raged at. They are tired of giving logical, intelligent solutions and not being heard!
It can take many years for family and friends to realize that this in not a problem that one grows out of. Nor does a healthy diet plan solve. We are talking about
”Mental Illness.” Yes the forbidden word, “Mental Illness.” The quicker you realize that this behavior is not only abnormal, but hysterical, the more you will realize it is out of your league to treat. So you see, the family has a tremendous role in the recovery and treatment of their loved one. The faster you break your own denial, the faster you can insist on the appropriate help. I do mean, “INSIST.”
If years have gone by and your loved one is still suffering, without getting treatment, it’s time for some serious action on your part. Insist they get help or you will have them committed. Sounds harsh? If you don’t do something now, you will be standing over their coffin wondering why you didn’t do something. (Twenty percent will die.) Afraid they will hate you? They already do hate you! You have been a constant bother, interfering with their obsessive -compulsive behavior.
Outpatient treatment is suggested if the person is healthy enough to attend sessions. Sounds crazy, but sometimes the person is too lethargic from not eating, and or binging and purging to comprehend what’s going on in a session. I have had people too obese to walk up four steps to enter my office. A doctor friend of mine was delighted when I told him he could call 911 if someone with an eating disorder refuses to seek hospitalization and he is in fear for their life. He said, “ We never learned about eating disorders in med school.”
If you are connected in any way with this disorder, go to the library, read all you can on the subject. Seek your own therapy. Learn! Learn! Learn! This is not a hopeless situation but an enlightening one for all involved. Quality of life is available to those who seek it. There are many people walking around thanking god for their eating disorder or someone else’s. It made them grow up and face life on lives terms. Believe me, it’s worth the journey.
Susan Rosener, CAC, EDC Office: 631-665-0097 Email: edcounselingctr@aol.com
The views and opinions expressed in this article are strictly those of the author and are presented without editing. The opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect the position or the policy of EDReferral.com, and no official endorsement by EDReferral.com of the opinions expressed herein should be inferred.
